Monday, January 12, 2009

Meant for more

My holiday break was an existance for me.

I left campus saddened because several of my dearest friends were graduating and none of us knew when we would meet again. However, I was hopeful for the weeks at home when I would participate in family life again and possibly see my friends from high school and enjoy some time with Best Friend. I confess, I was a little glad to see Roommate leave. Her dramatic quirks had begun to get the better of me and leave me with a slightly un-Christian taste in my mouth.

My home world is different to say the least.

My time at school is spent with friends, in classes, on the internet, thinking up and conjuring harmless trouble to cause, and (sometimes) studying.
My time at home was spent in full time care of my mum, loving on my sisters who I have grown to value so much more since I do not have them every day, and cleaning every surface of my house.

I learned a lot over my break. I did not get a chance for the expected time with friends whom I had so longed to see. I rarely left my home except to take a sibling somewhere or pick them up. I had no internet. I felt as though my days were made bearable simply by the lovely phone calls and text messages from Unconventional Boy which I so loved to recieve.

One of the things which hit me hardest over my stay at home with my family was the observation of my twelve year old sister. Little Sister is a wonderful girl. She has always been happy and excited, passionate and whimsical. Everyone in her school adores her even the upper classmen and Best Friend has confessed numerous times that she reminds him of me. Both of my sisters are beautiful. But Little Sister doesn't cover it all up with make-up and stylish clothes. She shines with her God-given self. It is truly a lovely thing.

While staying at home, I am always very affectionate with my family. I want them to know that I love them. I want to show them that in any way that I possibly can. Little Sister and I cuddled together on the couch every night to watch Hannah Montana together and I loved it.

But looking at her, how she did her hair, how many times she wore her Chuck Taylors, her choice of music, even the words she used, I couldn't help but see in her that she wants to be like me.

It was a startling and somewhat frightening realization. To have someone so young and so vulnerable looking at the things you do and wanting to do them too simply because they want to be like's a wonderful feeling of importance but such great responsibility. It made me realize so many things in my life that I needed to get out!

Thus, I spent much of my break striving to be the person God means for me to be. Striving for patience, avoiding anger, curbing my sharp tongue because any word I used would be sure to come straight out of Little Sister's mouth in the next sentence, spending time daily prayer and Bible study, eating right, and loving myself for who I am and how I was created.

Life is defined by the things which make you realize that you were meant for more.

1 comment:

  1. ah but more is still to come. you've got at least another 55 years of life ahead of you, i'm assuming around 7 or 8 of youth (depending how old you are) plenty of time to do lots of things. :)

    what happened to best friend! i'm intrigued.